A couple of weeks ago, when reading the Guardian's Q&A in their Sunday magazine, I felt the urge to answer the questions myself. Having been quite down the last couple of months, I thought that answering the questions myself would be quite therapeutic in a self-help kind of way. So, I sat down with my computer and was about to write, when I then thought, wouldn't it be nice to send these questions to my friends and the public of my local community in Sheffield? After all, we don't need to be famous in order to be interesting, do we? I have some very lovely, talented, creative and intelligent friends, and I feel the need for them (and including myself) to be acknowledged.
So, here they are. I am starting with the Q&A's that I received first, and some are still awaiting, of which I will post as I get them. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.
So, here they are. I am starting with the Q&A's that I received first, and some are still awaiting, of which I will post as I get them. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.
Q&A: Lee Marshall, Health Practitioner, South Yorkshire. 26.10.2014
- When were you happiest?
19 years old, the time when you think your an adult, but you've only really just got there. Life was exciting. Everything was possible. Everything is still possible, but life, responsibility and doubt play it's part now.
What is your greatest fear?
Irrational fear of clowns. Sheffield University have done some research, it's a strange one. I think it's Stephen Kings fault.
What is your earliest memory?
I honestly can't remember, stories from others an memories have merged.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Currently Stephanie Hirst, being free and who she wants to be.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Impatience.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Lying. Either to be thought better of or to be devious. The truth, even if it's ugly, is better.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My house.
What is your most treasured possession?
Letters from a person who's not with us anymore.
What is your screensaver?
A Yorkshire terrier pup.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
The British Lynx.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Being overweight.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Eddie Cibrian. Maybe both me an him in our younger days.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Brushing the back of my tongue, making a horrible gag noise- every time I brush.
What is your favourite smell?
Currently: Original Source Coconut.
Which book changed your life?
Misery, Stephen King. I'd never read an adult book before that one.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A doctor.
What is top of your bucket list?
An american road trip.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Sally Lowe. For not supporting her when she needed a friend.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
James Moran, 10 year together yesterday.
What was the best kiss of your life?
I can't remember a particular one...
What has been your biggest disappointment?
I can't make Yorkshire puddings, all my family can make amazing ones.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
The 1960's I think.
How do you relax?
TV, duvet and no plans.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
Pneumonia as a premature baby.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
It took me 16 years from starting to learn to drive, to actually sticking to it and passing. So driving.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Spain, winter sun. Sitting on a terrace, relaxed. I've always loved Spain.
Q&A: John Ledger, Artist, Barnsley, South Yorkshire. 28.10.2014
When were you happiest?
9 years old I think. But maybe faded memory is fooling me.
What is your greatest fear?
Immobility, in the sense of being unable to at least momentarily take flight from things. I suppose the fear is of what will find me in this immobility. A mixture of individual failure with social/environmental catastrophe.
What is your earliest memory?
Cutting my head open, falling off the bed and hitting the radiator, being taken to hospital. Must have been either 2 or 3.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
That's a tricky one. Probably on a personal level I'm probably too internally ashamed to even tell myself who I admire the most – as it may reveal more about me to myself than I'd like to. On a more impersonal level, there are many writers I admire, but would struggle to mention one above all else.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I have an inner wrangling with feelings of being emotionally cold and extremely uncaring about others. I think I get this because I don't really know who I am, and that worries me. It shows on the surface level in my visible lack of self esteem, and I suppose this is what I dislike about myself the most on a visible level.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
On a social level, I deplore bullying. Perhaps, especially, random bullying of people on streets, where an individual just hurls some cruel and audible comment at a passer by and yet you know it's very unlikely that the bullying individual will get retribution for what he/she does. I also hate elitism, and the rude sense of entitlement that comes with great privelage, and belittling of presumed inferiors that often goes hand in and with it.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
To this day it's a Rickenbacker guitar, I bought in Autumn 2002.
What is your most treasured possession?
Well, the thing I worry about losing the most is my teeth. There's things I'd hate to see damaged, trees I've planted, drawings I've made, but I'm not really possessive over them, just wouldn't want to see them damaged. Strangely enough, on an immaterial level, I've slowly come to really treasure the blog I keep.
What is your screensaver?
A random picture of the view from Woolley Edge, between South and West Yorkshire.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
A collective belief that the future will be better than the past. Because that seems to have reversed over the course of the past half a century.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My body posture – it reeks of lack of confidence. And lack of confidence is such a sucker blow in these ruthlessly competitive times.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
My 20 year old self.
What is your most unappealing habit?
I can't put my finger on it, it periodically morphs into something else, like a twitch that can't escape. From scratching the dandruff from my head, to picking hairs out of my chin.
What is your favourite smell?
I like smells specifically for evoking memories, but not specifically for their essence.
What is your favourite word?
I like to use physical sounding words to express psychological issues – words such as dredge, pummel, etc.
Which book changed your life?
It's between the Orwell's 1984 and Mark Fisher's Capitalist Realism
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I always liked the idea of being a guitarist, but most guitarists seem to be strong, silent types, who have patience, which I have none of. And I don't work too well with other people. Definitely always wanted to be an expressive person.
What is top of your bucket list?
First of all I had to look up what a bucket list is because I've never heard of one before. I'd say, to change my current living and working environment.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Aged 10 I got involved in a group in my village who were taunting an old woman outside her house, calling her a witch. I've felt bad for this all way through my life. I tried to mentally exempt myself from blame by saying “I was only there, I wasn't doing the shouting”, but the fact that I was part of the crowd makes me as culpable as anyone else.
I also feel the need to always apologise for not being as involved in social activism and grass roots movements as I have felt I should be. I struggle working in groups, and find my protest voice is far more naturally aligned with making artwork, but this doesn't stop me feeling guilty about it all.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I don't know. I certainly do have a passion for something, but I'm not sure it exists, not yet anyway.
What was the best kiss of your life?
Don't know, I've always been too drunk to remember.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
The social reality of the 21st century.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
Not sure at all really. Perhaps just before the onset of broadband Internet.
How do you relax?
With difficulty. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't often include at least one alcoholic drink.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
I've certainly felt like I've reached an inescapable dead end at a few points throughout my 20's – like that's was it. But regarding actual physical closeness to death, probably when I was a baby and (apparently) was within a second of crawling out of a 3rd floor window in Scarborough.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Certain pieces of artwork, and certain exhibitions I've done within the past 5/6 years
Where would you most like to be right now?
In a place where I don't feel I'm in a losing battle against feelings of failure and hopelessness; the good life, I suppose, where I'm not riddled by discontent and unease.
9 years old I think. But maybe faded memory is fooling me.
What is your greatest fear?
Immobility, in the sense of being unable to at least momentarily take flight from things. I suppose the fear is of what will find me in this immobility. A mixture of individual failure with social/environmental catastrophe.
What is your earliest memory?
Cutting my head open, falling off the bed and hitting the radiator, being taken to hospital. Must have been either 2 or 3.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
That's a tricky one. Probably on a personal level I'm probably too internally ashamed to even tell myself who I admire the most – as it may reveal more about me to myself than I'd like to. On a more impersonal level, there are many writers I admire, but would struggle to mention one above all else.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I have an inner wrangling with feelings of being emotionally cold and extremely uncaring about others. I think I get this because I don't really know who I am, and that worries me. It shows on the surface level in my visible lack of self esteem, and I suppose this is what I dislike about myself the most on a visible level.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
On a social level, I deplore bullying. Perhaps, especially, random bullying of people on streets, where an individual just hurls some cruel and audible comment at a passer by and yet you know it's very unlikely that the bullying individual will get retribution for what he/she does. I also hate elitism, and the rude sense of entitlement that comes with great privelage, and belittling of presumed inferiors that often goes hand in and with it.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
To this day it's a Rickenbacker guitar, I bought in Autumn 2002.
What is your most treasured possession?
Well, the thing I worry about losing the most is my teeth. There's things I'd hate to see damaged, trees I've planted, drawings I've made, but I'm not really possessive over them, just wouldn't want to see them damaged. Strangely enough, on an immaterial level, I've slowly come to really treasure the blog I keep.
What is your screensaver?
A random picture of the view from Woolley Edge, between South and West Yorkshire.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
A collective belief that the future will be better than the past. Because that seems to have reversed over the course of the past half a century.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My body posture – it reeks of lack of confidence. And lack of confidence is such a sucker blow in these ruthlessly competitive times.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
My 20 year old self.
What is your most unappealing habit?
I can't put my finger on it, it periodically morphs into something else, like a twitch that can't escape. From scratching the dandruff from my head, to picking hairs out of my chin.
What is your favourite smell?
I like smells specifically for evoking memories, but not specifically for their essence.
What is your favourite word?
I like to use physical sounding words to express psychological issues – words such as dredge, pummel, etc.
Which book changed your life?
It's between the Orwell's 1984 and Mark Fisher's Capitalist Realism
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I always liked the idea of being a guitarist, but most guitarists seem to be strong, silent types, who have patience, which I have none of. And I don't work too well with other people. Definitely always wanted to be an expressive person.
What is top of your bucket list?
First of all I had to look up what a bucket list is because I've never heard of one before. I'd say, to change my current living and working environment.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Aged 10 I got involved in a group in my village who were taunting an old woman outside her house, calling her a witch. I've felt bad for this all way through my life. I tried to mentally exempt myself from blame by saying “I was only there, I wasn't doing the shouting”, but the fact that I was part of the crowd makes me as culpable as anyone else.
I also feel the need to always apologise for not being as involved in social activism and grass roots movements as I have felt I should be. I struggle working in groups, and find my protest voice is far more naturally aligned with making artwork, but this doesn't stop me feeling guilty about it all.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I don't know. I certainly do have a passion for something, but I'm not sure it exists, not yet anyway.
What was the best kiss of your life?
Don't know, I've always been too drunk to remember.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
The social reality of the 21st century.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
Not sure at all really. Perhaps just before the onset of broadband Internet.
How do you relax?
With difficulty. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't often include at least one alcoholic drink.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
I've certainly felt like I've reached an inescapable dead end at a few points throughout my 20's – like that's was it. But regarding actual physical closeness to death, probably when I was a baby and (apparently) was within a second of crawling out of a 3rd floor window in Scarborough.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Certain pieces of artwork, and certain exhibitions I've done within the past 5/6 years
Where would you most like to be right now?
In a place where I don't feel I'm in a losing battle against feelings of failure and hopelessness; the good life, I suppose, where I'm not riddled by discontent and unease.
Q&A: Sean Williams, Artist, Sheffield, South Yorkshire. 04.11.2014
When were you happiest?
I can remember a very specific time when I was very happy. It was 1994. I was walking to my studio in Blast Lane in Sheffield listening to a tape recording of that day’s Danny Baker radio show. I was living with a girl called Sara and we were very happy. The sun was shining and it struck me that that moment was as good as it could ever be. I’ve had some great days since but I sometimes long to feel like that again.
What is your greatest fear?
Being lonely and unhappy when I’m older.
What is your earliest memory?
Playing football on a beach in Wales with my Dad and Grandad.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
One of my heroes is an ice hockey player called Rob Trumbley who was a very tough man who would stick up and fight for his team-mates, even though he wasn’t very big. I also admire an artist from Leeds called John Slemensek because he is always so incredibly positive and works so hard to create opportunities for other artists.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Lack of self-belief.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness, definitely.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My laptop.
What is your most treasured possession?
Can I have two? The notebook/diary I have kept over the last two years; and my personal radio.
What is your screensaver?
One of my paintings.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Pterodactyl.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Sticky-out ears.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Timothy Spall, and it would be a very dull film.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Swearing.
What is your favourite smell?
Freshly mown grass.
What is your favourite word?
Semiotics.
Which book changed your life?
Douglas Adams – ‘The Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A footballer for Stoke City.
What is top of your bucket list?
To go to Chicago.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
My Dad, I think, for putting him through some difficult times.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Painting.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
The end of my relationship with Sara.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
Hambledon, a village in Hampshire, in the late 18th Century when cricket was first developing as a game.
How do you relax?
Watching very gentle programmes like ‘QI’ on TV.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
I was once very close to falling over a ledge whilst climbing a hill in Wales.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being part of an exhibition called ‘British Contemporary Painting’.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Watching cricket in Australia or ice hockey in Chicago.
I can remember a very specific time when I was very happy. It was 1994. I was walking to my studio in Blast Lane in Sheffield listening to a tape recording of that day’s Danny Baker radio show. I was living with a girl called Sara and we were very happy. The sun was shining and it struck me that that moment was as good as it could ever be. I’ve had some great days since but I sometimes long to feel like that again.
What is your greatest fear?
Being lonely and unhappy when I’m older.
What is your earliest memory?
Playing football on a beach in Wales with my Dad and Grandad.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
One of my heroes is an ice hockey player called Rob Trumbley who was a very tough man who would stick up and fight for his team-mates, even though he wasn’t very big. I also admire an artist from Leeds called John Slemensek because he is always so incredibly positive and works so hard to create opportunities for other artists.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Lack of self-belief.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness, definitely.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My laptop.
What is your most treasured possession?
Can I have two? The notebook/diary I have kept over the last two years; and my personal radio.
What is your screensaver?
One of my paintings.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Pterodactyl.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Sticky-out ears.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Timothy Spall, and it would be a very dull film.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Swearing.
What is your favourite smell?
Freshly mown grass.
What is your favourite word?
Semiotics.
Which book changed your life?
Douglas Adams – ‘The Hitch-hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A footballer for Stoke City.
What is top of your bucket list?
To go to Chicago.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
My Dad, I think, for putting him through some difficult times.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Painting.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
The end of my relationship with Sara.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
Hambledon, a village in Hampshire, in the late 18th Century when cricket was first developing as a game.
How do you relax?
Watching very gentle programmes like ‘QI’ on TV.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
I was once very close to falling over a ledge whilst climbing a hill in Wales.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being part of an exhibition called ‘British Contemporary Painting’.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Watching cricket in Australia or ice hockey in Chicago.
Q&A: Jade Lauren, Artist, Sheffield, South Yorkshire. 07.11.2014
When were you happiest?
Many times at many stages in my life, but was probably happiest at three years old, care free and loved with my family in South Africa.
What is your greatest fear?
Deep waters and great white sharks..even the thought is terrifying.
What is your earliest memory?
Not sure I remember the earliest, but I remember happily gorging on fresh mangoes in my nan and granddad's garden in South Africa when I was around three or four years old.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My mum, she’s the strongest person I know..and Carrie Bradshaw if I have to choose a celebrity.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Impatience, self-loathing and over-thinking..that’s three.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ignorance and un-kindness.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My microkorg synth.
What is your most treasured possession?
Ooh..my notebooks.
What is your screensaver?
Three arabs and a camel..all smiling..it makes me smile.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Fruit and vegetables as nature intended..chemical and pesticide free.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My cheeks.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Not sure..Carrie Bradshaw?
What is your most unappealing habit?
Eating too quickly.
What is your favourite smell?
Many..freshly brewed coffee..amber..autumn.
What is your favourite word?
Fragments.
Which book changed your life?
Many, if not all. Eat, Pray Love was a great life changer though.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I remember when I was very young telling my mum that I wanted to be a policewoman..
What is top of your bucket list?
To have made some sort of stamp on the world either with my art/music/writing, to play my music live in front of a kind and energetic audience.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Um, not sure about that one..if I haven’t said it all ready then it should not have been spoken..sometimes sorry isn’t necessary.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Bananas, chocolate, and the ability to read and write.
What was the best kiss of your life?
Don’t remember..maybe Clarke Cable in my dreams.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Not sure..
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
‘Home’
How do you relax?
Just sitting and breathing, and reading a little, although I must admit I do find it hard to switch of most of the time.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
Road traffic accident almost ten years ago now. Also from an extremely terrifying five day acid trip a couple of years ago, I experienced severe panic attacks and stopped breathing when I finally began to fall asleep on the fifth day. If it wasn’t for my mum I probably wouldn’t be here now.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My writings, my music and my art.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Somewhere by the sea and the sky.
Many times at many stages in my life, but was probably happiest at three years old, care free and loved with my family in South Africa.
What is your greatest fear?
Deep waters and great white sharks..even the thought is terrifying.
What is your earliest memory?
Not sure I remember the earliest, but I remember happily gorging on fresh mangoes in my nan and granddad's garden in South Africa when I was around three or four years old.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My mum, she’s the strongest person I know..and Carrie Bradshaw if I have to choose a celebrity.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Impatience, self-loathing and over-thinking..that’s three.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ignorance and un-kindness.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My microkorg synth.
What is your most treasured possession?
Ooh..my notebooks.
What is your screensaver?
Three arabs and a camel..all smiling..it makes me smile.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Fruit and vegetables as nature intended..chemical and pesticide free.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My cheeks.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Not sure..Carrie Bradshaw?
What is your most unappealing habit?
Eating too quickly.
What is your favourite smell?
Many..freshly brewed coffee..amber..autumn.
What is your favourite word?
Fragments.
Which book changed your life?
Many, if not all. Eat, Pray Love was a great life changer though.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I remember when I was very young telling my mum that I wanted to be a policewoman..
What is top of your bucket list?
To have made some sort of stamp on the world either with my art/music/writing, to play my music live in front of a kind and energetic audience.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Um, not sure about that one..if I haven’t said it all ready then it should not have been spoken..sometimes sorry isn’t necessary.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Bananas, chocolate, and the ability to read and write.
What was the best kiss of your life?
Don’t remember..maybe Clarke Cable in my dreams.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Not sure..
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
‘Home’
How do you relax?
Just sitting and breathing, and reading a little, although I must admit I do find it hard to switch of most of the time.
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
Road traffic accident almost ten years ago now. Also from an extremely terrifying five day acid trip a couple of years ago, I experienced severe panic attacks and stopped breathing when I finally began to fall asleep on the fifth day. If it wasn’t for my mum I probably wouldn’t be here now.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My writings, my music and my art.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Somewhere by the sea and the sky.
Freyja Isobel Dennison, Autism Facilitator, Johannesburg, S. Africa. 12.11.2014
When were you happiest?
I’d say the times that stick out in my mind the most are University, Sheffield and now! University being the cotton wool comfort of ‘protection’ from the ‘real world’ and just generally learning, spending times with friends, going out, etc. It was also a time when I felt I really learnt a lot about myself as a person which I think is also good : )
I loved living in Sheffield- it was the first time I moved anywhere not knowing anyone and I just liked the fact that I could almost become anyone I wanted to as a result of that! I liked making new friends and joining the Buddhist community...I worked in interesting jobs, saw a counsellor to deal with past issues and felt really independent and in control of my life!
I’m also happiest at the moment- I feel like I made such a good choice to move back to South Africa and move in with Richard. I’m close to my family and even though life here is not always easy, I enjoy the simpler things like the sunny weather, the ferocious storms, the roaming lizards, beautiful scenery and noisy but interesting sounding birds!
What is your greatest fear?
Hmmmm...My greatest fear... I think it’s probably not being ‘successful’ in life- and I don’t necessarily mean in a financial or career sense. I fear I will make mistakes and not make the ‘right’ decisions in life, and as a result of that feel I messed up. I fear I will not make the most of my life and waste it, and later regret that.
What is your earliest memory?
Earliest memory is a tough one... think earliest ones I have are of riding on my bike and singing Queen ‘I want to ride my bicycle’ at the top of my lungs round our council estate in Essex and riding on my step-dad’s mini motorbike, crashing into our fence and knocking it down when I was about 4/5!
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My nana : ) she’s turning 95 in 6 weeks and she’s incredible!! She’s lived on her own for almost 40 years. She still works, drives, looks after herself and her friends, flies around the world every year to visit family. And the main reason she’s so inspiring is because she’s modest and positive about life, and she’s so stubborn she refuses to accept help from anyone- I love her determination and spirit! Just because I’m old doesn’t mean I can’t do it!
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Probably being moody and taking it out on other people! Also I have a tendency to push people away when I’m feeling vulnerable and even though it’s a lot better now than it used to be, I still really don’t like it.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
People being cruel to animals- it just kills me, I can’t stand it. I just can’t understand how someone could bring themselves to do that, and I actually get really traumatised by hearing about things like that.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Probably my laptop.
What is your most treasured possession?
My diaries and photographs. I’ve kept a diary since I was about 8 and I love looking back on them to try and figure out who I was back then! And I love photographs! I love reminiscing about the past and what’s happened and catching glimpses of people’s lives.
What is your screensaver?
It’s a picture I took at the South Luangwa Game Reserve in Zambia of some giraffe at night- the dust particles were illuminated by the torch the game ranger shone. By accident it came out looking like a painting or something : )
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
It’s a weird one, but I actually really liked those instant cameras where you took photos and then gave them in to be developed...the suspense! Ok ok, most of the pictures were thumb shots and shitty focuses...but I do miss that. Nowadays we take photos and can instantly see them. Then we just choose the best ones and delete the rest...I don’t know why, it just seems a shame.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Well it used to be a lot of things and I’m pleased to say now that actually it’s not that much anymore! What I always notice is my tummy though...if I have a bit of a food baby or haven’t been to the gym for a while...it’s always the tummy I notice the most.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
I feel like Ellen Page would be a good fit! She’s small and a bit weird and a bit boyish! I don’t think I’m particularly boyish or anything I just don’t think I’m that girly! And she seems generally quite laid back about her appearance which also fits me quite well.
What is your most unappealing habit?
My most unappealing habit...
What is your favourite smell?
Ahhhh I can’t choose just one! The peppermint that grows in our herb garden Jasmine flowers, freshly brewed coffee and citrusy oranges and lemons.
What is your favourite word?
I’ve always like the word ‘azure’...it sounds magical : )
Which book changed your life?
Probably The Road Less Travelled- my mum bought it for me when I was going through some troubled times as a teenager...but I didn’t read it then. I read it a few years later at University when I was depressed the first time and it really spoke to me...I think it really changed my perceptions on some things.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I always wanted to be an author like Roald Dahl- I loved his books when I was a kid. I used to write stories all the time as a kid.
What is top of your bucket list?
Probably going in a hot air balloon : ) Always wanted to do it : )
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
A housemate of mine at Uni. I really betrayed her and felt (and still do) so guilty and ashamed of myself for doing something so awful to a friend of mine, something I didn’t really think I was capable of doing. I did say sorry but she didn’t really forgive me and she pretty much cut me out of her life. I felt very disappointed in myself at the time.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I think it’s probably Richard, but I guess time will tell. Aside from people, it would be reading and writing.
What was the best kiss of your life?
I dated an Irish guy at Uni and I can remember having some big, (I can only describe them as ‘tummy flips’) when he kissed me- it stands out in my mind.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Tough one. I think for some annoying reason (and I hate to admit it) it’s got to be failing the IAPT course last year : ( I tried so hard!!! : (
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
I think I’d really like to go back to when I was a kid and just tell myself it’s ok that you’re a bit weird, but don’t let ‘fitting in’ rule your life and define your self-worth. Don’t worry so much about what other people think of you and how they treat you- it says more about them than you.
How do you relax?
Usually with a good book and a cup of tea : ) Proper British style! I also find exercise very relaxing- so swimming, walking, Yoga and Pilates are all favourites of mine. And when I need a proper time out having long baths and meditating : )
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
I took an overdose in 2010 when I was depressed...it was a pretty low point in my life and that’s about all I really want to say about it.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Tricky because I’d want to say a few...main ones are overcoming depression twice, moving to Orkney when I was 15 to live with my Dad- building a relationship with him pretty much from scratch and the other challenges that came along with moving there, and graduating from my degree in 2009.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Just right here- I can’t be anywhere else. Staying as mindful as I can be about the present moment...Trying my best not to stray too far into either the past or the future...
I’d say the times that stick out in my mind the most are University, Sheffield and now! University being the cotton wool comfort of ‘protection’ from the ‘real world’ and just generally learning, spending times with friends, going out, etc. It was also a time when I felt I really learnt a lot about myself as a person which I think is also good : )
I loved living in Sheffield- it was the first time I moved anywhere not knowing anyone and I just liked the fact that I could almost become anyone I wanted to as a result of that! I liked making new friends and joining the Buddhist community...I worked in interesting jobs, saw a counsellor to deal with past issues and felt really independent and in control of my life!
I’m also happiest at the moment- I feel like I made such a good choice to move back to South Africa and move in with Richard. I’m close to my family and even though life here is not always easy, I enjoy the simpler things like the sunny weather, the ferocious storms, the roaming lizards, beautiful scenery and noisy but interesting sounding birds!
What is your greatest fear?
Hmmmm...My greatest fear... I think it’s probably not being ‘successful’ in life- and I don’t necessarily mean in a financial or career sense. I fear I will make mistakes and not make the ‘right’ decisions in life, and as a result of that feel I messed up. I fear I will not make the most of my life and waste it, and later regret that.
What is your earliest memory?
Earliest memory is a tough one... think earliest ones I have are of riding on my bike and singing Queen ‘I want to ride my bicycle’ at the top of my lungs round our council estate in Essex and riding on my step-dad’s mini motorbike, crashing into our fence and knocking it down when I was about 4/5!
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My nana : ) she’s turning 95 in 6 weeks and she’s incredible!! She’s lived on her own for almost 40 years. She still works, drives, looks after herself and her friends, flies around the world every year to visit family. And the main reason she’s so inspiring is because she’s modest and positive about life, and she’s so stubborn she refuses to accept help from anyone- I love her determination and spirit! Just because I’m old doesn’t mean I can’t do it!
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Probably being moody and taking it out on other people! Also I have a tendency to push people away when I’m feeling vulnerable and even though it’s a lot better now than it used to be, I still really don’t like it.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
People being cruel to animals- it just kills me, I can’t stand it. I just can’t understand how someone could bring themselves to do that, and I actually get really traumatised by hearing about things like that.
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Probably my laptop.
What is your most treasured possession?
My diaries and photographs. I’ve kept a diary since I was about 8 and I love looking back on them to try and figure out who I was back then! And I love photographs! I love reminiscing about the past and what’s happened and catching glimpses of people’s lives.
What is your screensaver?
It’s a picture I took at the South Luangwa Game Reserve in Zambia of some giraffe at night- the dust particles were illuminated by the torch the game ranger shone. By accident it came out looking like a painting or something : )
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
It’s a weird one, but I actually really liked those instant cameras where you took photos and then gave them in to be developed...the suspense! Ok ok, most of the pictures were thumb shots and shitty focuses...but I do miss that. Nowadays we take photos and can instantly see them. Then we just choose the best ones and delete the rest...I don’t know why, it just seems a shame.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Well it used to be a lot of things and I’m pleased to say now that actually it’s not that much anymore! What I always notice is my tummy though...if I have a bit of a food baby or haven’t been to the gym for a while...it’s always the tummy I notice the most.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
I feel like Ellen Page would be a good fit! She’s small and a bit weird and a bit boyish! I don’t think I’m particularly boyish or anything I just don’t think I’m that girly! And she seems generally quite laid back about her appearance which also fits me quite well.
What is your most unappealing habit?
My most unappealing habit...
What is your favourite smell?
Ahhhh I can’t choose just one! The peppermint that grows in our herb garden Jasmine flowers, freshly brewed coffee and citrusy oranges and lemons.
What is your favourite word?
I’ve always like the word ‘azure’...it sounds magical : )
Which book changed your life?
Probably The Road Less Travelled- my mum bought it for me when I was going through some troubled times as a teenager...but I didn’t read it then. I read it a few years later at University when I was depressed the first time and it really spoke to me...I think it really changed my perceptions on some things.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I always wanted to be an author like Roald Dahl- I loved his books when I was a kid. I used to write stories all the time as a kid.
What is top of your bucket list?
Probably going in a hot air balloon : ) Always wanted to do it : )
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
A housemate of mine at Uni. I really betrayed her and felt (and still do) so guilty and ashamed of myself for doing something so awful to a friend of mine, something I didn’t really think I was capable of doing. I did say sorry but she didn’t really forgive me and she pretty much cut me out of her life. I felt very disappointed in myself at the time.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I think it’s probably Richard, but I guess time will tell. Aside from people, it would be reading and writing.
What was the best kiss of your life?
I dated an Irish guy at Uni and I can remember having some big, (I can only describe them as ‘tummy flips’) when he kissed me- it stands out in my mind.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Tough one. I think for some annoying reason (and I hate to admit it) it’s got to be failing the IAPT course last year : ( I tried so hard!!! : (
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
I think I’d really like to go back to when I was a kid and just tell myself it’s ok that you’re a bit weird, but don’t let ‘fitting in’ rule your life and define your self-worth. Don’t worry so much about what other people think of you and how they treat you- it says more about them than you.
How do you relax?
Usually with a good book and a cup of tea : ) Proper British style! I also find exercise very relaxing- so swimming, walking, Yoga and Pilates are all favourites of mine. And when I need a proper time out having long baths and meditating : )
What is the closest thing you’ve come to death?
I took an overdose in 2010 when I was depressed...it was a pretty low point in my life and that’s about all I really want to say about it.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Tricky because I’d want to say a few...main ones are overcoming depression twice, moving to Orkney when I was 15 to live with my Dad- building a relationship with him pretty much from scratch and the other challenges that came along with moving there, and graduating from my degree in 2009.
Where would you most like to be right now?
Just right here- I can’t be anywhere else. Staying as mindful as I can be about the present moment...Trying my best not to stray too far into either the past or the future...
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